Everyone has experienced poor self-esteem at least once in their lives, myself included. Whether it’s for short bouts of time or something you’ve lived with your whole life, it can be a very debilitating and will often hold you back from so many experiences. It can surprisingly tough to rebuild your self-esteem when it’s already so low, especially if you’re not sure where to start. Below I’d like to share with you some practical tips on how I’ve rebuilt my self-esteem in the past that hopefully will help support you in finding value in your self-worth again.
Start small. Try something easy that brings you joy. Go for a walk, catch-up with a friend, listen to your favourite music or even bake a cake. It’s hard to make any progress if we’re not in the right frame of mind. It’s amazing what a simple walk at lunchtime will do for your mood and often is the time I make my clearest decisions. Make sure you find time, even just 10 minutes, everyday to dedicate to yourself. An integral part of self-care is engaging in activities that make us happy and is our first step to making us feel better about ourselves.
Take it in 3s. I don’t know about you but I have a terrible habit or taking on too much and then beating myself up when I can’t meet my own expectations. Many of us are productive little beings and feel a lot of gratification when we can tick something off of our lists. Instead of setting ourselves up for failure when we’re already not feeling great about ourselves, I recommend only putting 3 things on your list a day. Or even a week! Anything else is a bonus. By only writing down 3 things, you are being realistic about what you can comfortably achieve on a daily basis. If you manage any more than that, write it on your list and tick it off. If you only manage the 3, don’t sweat it! You’re still amazing.
Be your own boss. This is my weak point and I know many people struggle with this too. Seeking validation from others can be incredibly destructive and usually doesn’t end well. Instead of giving other people your power, keep it for yourself. Stop seeking gratification and approval from others for your own life and decisions. So what if you do not meet their expectations and let people down along the way? You’re worth is not decided by others. You do not live your life for others. It’s near enough impossible to please everyone and at the end of the day, what’s more important – bending backwards to satisfy others or being happy within yourself? Say no, speak your truth and be kind.
Rebuilding your self-esteem is no easy feat and I applaud you for taking the time to work on yours. The hardest part is drowning out our inner critic and sometimes will take a bit of persistence and tough love to find your confidence again. I wish you peace and support on your journey.
